Monday, June 30, 2008

Personal Ad # 8: A Very Voyeuristic Desire - Chicago, IL

Reply to:
Date: 2008-06-30, 11:14PM CDT

About me: I’m 26 y/o. Blonde-brown hair, blue eyes. 5’7”, 125 pounds. See my picture below.

I’m getting married next week. I love my fiancé, but he’s really boring in bed. Before I tie the knot, I want to satisfy one of my deepest desires – something my boyfriend would never do with me.

My desire is to have sex in a really public place – the more public the better. Don’t ask me why, but I find the idea extremely exciting. I’m looking for someone willing to do this with me.

If you’re interested, then in your reply, tell me what place you have in mind, and tell me how we could have sex there without getting caught (and without my boyfriend finding out). If I like what I hear, I’ll send you some better pictures.

PostingID: 738727291

Note: this post got 60+ replies in 10 minutes, then someone flagged it for removal.

Some of the Replys:

1. Nate. "i was at the museum last week. it would be a nice location, right at the top of the stairs, we can watch cars drive by, there are some more secure areas than others, the beach is near, no one will hear anything (maybe)."

2. Jerry. "don't do that to your fiance. if you're having these feelings don't get married, they're just going to get worse as time goes by. unless he cheats you. then its ok. and don't sleep with a stranger. that's just gross."

3. Charles. "I know the perfect place for public sex. Let's have sex in Excalibur...right over the dance floor. The entire dance floor would see us, but only from the navel up. Email me and I'll set it up."

4. John. "i was thinkin how wild it would be to fuck on the observation deck of the sears tower or hancock building. it would take some planning but i know it could be done."

5. Tez. "How about a mens or womens dressing room in a mall. Victories Secret would be a great place for some forbidden sexual fun if your interested."

Personal Ad # 7: Desperately Seeking Donald Rumsfeld - Glendale, AZ

Reply to:
Date: 2008-06-29, 11:18PM MST

32 y.o. S/W/F. No kids. Black hair, blue eyes. Slim but still curvaceous.

I’m looking for something unusual: I’ve always had a crush on Donald Rumsfeld (don’t ask why). I need a man who looks like him to help me fulfill a fantasy.

Here’s the fantasy: Donald is sitting at his desk, in a large, sound-proof office. He’s talking on the phone to somebody important - something about Iraq. I quietly open the door, wearing nothing but a trench coat. As he turns around to look, I take the trench coat off. He stares at me, with a look of shock and awe on his face. Quickly, I slip underneath his desk, unzip his pants, and as he tries to finish his important conversation, I find a way to make it deliciously difficult for him. You can fill in the rest of the details ;-)

If you’re interested, please explain in your reply how you would make this fantasy real for me. What would you say? Could we use your office? Please – the details are very important to me. If I like what you have to say, I’ll send you a picture of me wearing nothing but a tie, and we can take things from there.

PostingID: 737519745


Some of the Replys:

1. John. "Hello beautiful lady....I have got to tell you i like the way you think...OK I have a million$+ golf course home, its like s resort....with an office and a large bankers desk. I am Donald's age ish 50....But I am a more experienced lover than Donald....I know what a woman wants and needs...."

2. Dan. "My office is on the 15th floor. I'm located at the end of hall on the right. It's very quiet and cozy. My secretary leaves at 5pm. I would clear off my desk awaiting your arrival. Nothing on the desk always works best for this. I would like you to come in drop that coat and bend over on the desk. I think you know what happens next."

3. Randy. "Wow, that is my fantasy too. The office part, I mean. I am a professional dwm 60 6-45 225 8”. I attached a photo. I do have a private office. Actually a home/office. After I put down the phone I would... [Ed: this part is too graphic]. Anyway, I am real and near Bethany Home Road & I-17 in Phx. So, hit me back if you are real too."

4. Brian. "I'll be your 'Dick' Cheney."

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Ad 6: Revenge is Sweet - Annapolis, MD

Title: Slim, 29 y/o Redhead Needs Your Help

Reply to:
Date: 2008-06-29, 10:19PM EDT

I’ve just discovered my husband is cheating on me. I want to end the relationship, but I don’t want to just tell him and leave – that would be too easy for him. I want revenge.

I’m looking for a man who is willing to be in bed with me when my husband gets back from work. Don’t worry – he’s not a violent man. I imagine he’ll either cry, break-down, or just stand there flabbergasted. He doesn’t think that I’m the kind of woman who would do this – that’s where he’s wrong!

The perks: you get to be in bed with a naked 29 year old woman. You can do what you want to me while we’re there (hell, if the plan goes well, I might let you do what you want to me more than once). I have red hair (not the bright red kind), blue eyes, light skin, and I’m very slim – though I’ve still got it where it counts, if you know what I mean ;-)

The ideal man for this is someone who would make my husband really jealous – tall, strong, handsome, and not too old. Email me back if you think you fit the bill.

PostingID: 737360696

Some of the Replys:

1. Mark. "39 yr old Italian male and police officer. Send me a pic. Let me see what you look like. I'm also a former college wrestler. Here's my pic. I'm the dark skinned guy on the left. "

2. Pete. "Im willing but just a little wary of how safe all this is. But Jesus, it is tempting. Sizewize Im 6-1 and fun and fit and DD free with a package to keep you busy for quite sometime. So lets talk and let me know the details re day of week and time etc. Could be what we both need."

3. Sam. "hi 35 mwm 6 ft 200 lbs 8.5 inches i would love to help you out ,i have a pic just cant send in cl ,i have been in that situation in the past ,some of them dont like me doing there wives at first but in the end they start to like it,some even get off on it"

4. Tim. "Not too smart... There are many ways that this could go bad.. I mean really bad... Just be careful..."

Post 5: Animal Crackers, Green Jell-O, and a Feather Boa - San Diego, CA

Title: 31 y.o. Brunette, Likes Green Jell-O

Reply to:
Date: 2008-06-29, 1:49AM PDT

I am a 31 year old brunette. Slim but short (5’2’’). My friends say I look a bit like Tina Fey. I’m looking for a man to get intimate with – N.S.A. – but before we do, I need to know that you ‘get me.’ Most men don’t – that’s why I’m looking on Craiglist.

I have a sexual fantasy involving a box of animal crackers, two gallons of green jell-o, and a feather boa. If you can work out what my fantasy is, you’re the kind of man I’m looking for.

Please reply with guesses. If you get it right, I’ll send a picture (I hope you like lingerie), and we can take it from there. Be creative. If you’re not interested in guessing, don’t bother replying.

PostingID: 736550337


Some of the Replys:

1. Mark. "I see you using the feather boa as a blind fold and feeling the jello covering your body with animal crackers on key spots. You want to feel the jello being sucked off your nipples and the rest being massaged into your sexy body."

2. Rob. "okay...all i can think about is filling a kiddie pool up with the jello and animal crackers and having nothing to hold onto but the two bodies and the feather boa tied to the rim of the pool for support trying to eat the animal crackers while having sex....but that doesnt make much sense to me...might be cause im tired (but it does seem interesting) lol"

3. Kobie. "Okay, for what its worth...The animal crackers confused me here. I was almost thinking you were wanting to do a jell-o wrestling match and pretend you were Hulk Hogan."

4. Mark. "dont want to guess just want sex. Please email pic."

Post 4: Looking for Lurv, Hollywood Style - Long Beach, CA

Title: 23 yo Blonde w. Unusual NSA Request

Reply to:
Date: 2008-06-29, 1:02AM PDT

I have an unusual request. I’m an aspiring actress. I’ve tried everything to make it in Hollywood, but nothing is really working.

Anyway, to break into the big time, I want to make a sex-tape, and then have it released on the internet. It worked for Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian – I’m sure it will work for me.

I’m looking for a man to star in the sex-tape with me. You must be reasonably young and good-looking (so you can pass as my boyfriend).

The benefits: you get to have sex with me, possibly more than once. I’m 23, blond, and blue eyed. I have a much cuter face than Paris Hilton, and I’m A LOT thinner than Kim Kardashian. We’ll keep filming scenes until we get it right – it could take a few days.

The costs: if this works, your body will be all over the internet for years to come.

If you’re interested, you need to explain to me why you want to do this. I tried this once before, and the men who replied only wanted the sex – when they came to my apartment, they wouldn’t let me tape them. Also send a photo / link.

PostingID: 736539968


Some of the Replys:

1. Danny. "My name is Danny. I'm 26, 6' tall and 150lbs. I will only do it if you are as hot as you say you are. I'm a good lookin dude with a good job and a package to be proud of. Mainly why I want to do it, I just got out of a 3.5 yr relationship, and I want to have some fun! We taped ourselves plenty. I don't give a damn about a camera. So, here's a pic. If you're interested, tell me more about yourself and your twisted little plan."

2. Tim. "I will do it, but i do not want my face seen. all parts of body fine, no face"

3. Travon. "Listen you dont have to do that crap to get ahead. I'm 23 and my uncle is in that type of buisness. He knows a few people around town. People who work for the show gossip girl and one who use to work for veronica mars when it was on. So email me back and maybe i can help."

4. Austin. "You putz! It worked for them because A, they were already famous and B, they screwed someone famous. You're better off going on more casting couch auditions. I ain't famous, but I am willing to show my sexual prowess off on tape. Bring the goods, lady."

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Post 3: Looking for Horseplay - Denver, CO

Title: 30 Something Woman With Strange Tastes

Reply to:
Date: 2008-06-28, 11:10PM

Hi Guys,

I’m a 32 year old woman – new to town. I’m slim (5’6” – 115 pounds), with strawberry-blonde hair and green eyes. I am light-skinned, with freckles, a small nose, and sensuous lips.

I’m looking for something a bit unusual: I want to find a man who will let me put a saddle on him, and ride him like a horse around my apartment (or his). For personal reasons, I find this very arousing. If I enjoy the ride, I might be willing to do something you enjoy ;-)

It is very hard to find men willing to do this, so I am willing to consider all offers (although I do find it easier to ride tall, strong men). Also, I can supply the saddle. If you’re interested, please reply with a description of what my ride would be like (at least a paragraph). If I like what I hear, I’ll send you a photo.

PostingID: 736479056


1. Craig. "Your ride will be fun and long maybe ill buck you off and then you'll have to get on and try again. Maybe you won't need the saddle and ride me bareback. Email me for more."

2. John. "Hmmm... that is interesting! When I first read this post i must admit i was a bit appalled. However I just could not stop thinking about it. I think that it would be really fun! I think that your ride would be most fun if after riding around your apartment for awhile we got up on your bed and I bounced around for a bit giving you a bit more of an exciting ride!! I think that it would also be exciting for you to ride me around outside. Well that is all that I can think of... What did you have in mind. I am 28 blond/blue and fit. I am 6ft tall and about 180 lbs. I do have a pic if you would like. I hope to hear from you.."

3. Darius. "This would be the best ride of your life because. Firstly, you would have me their i am big on pleasing and being pleased.I dont have to much expirience with sadles but ive seen something similar to it on real sex.Secondly,the most exhilirating part of a horseride is the clashing of heels againts the ground, The hard intense breathing of the stallion as he gallops through thick meadows,dessert, watever the terrain may be i will try my best to do these characteristics for you.Finally,What better to end the whole shindig than to have a drink or maybe make passionate love with your horse.Its a once in a lifetime experience : )"

4. Eric. "I'm 23, 6'1", 195, athletic, with dark hair and light blue eyes. As for what your ride would be like, I happily crawl up to you, kiss your feet, and brush up against your legs to let you know I'm ready to be saddled. You could strap it on and climb on top. Then I'd carry you around your apartment (or mine) as slow or fast as you wanted. I could give you a soft, steady, and smooth ride, or be a little more wild (it might be fun if you have to break me in). I have pictures if you are interested, so please feel free to write back so we can discuss this further."

5. Lou. "Good luck. If you ever have an urge to be tied up or led around on a leash, maybe we can talk. Meanwhile, do you ride English or Western?"

6. Jim. "You made my day!!" [Ed: Damn, this guy seems to have realized that it was a joke.]

Post 2: Too Good to be True - Cincinnati, OH

Title: Blonde, Blue Eyed Girl Looking for a Real Man

Reply to:
Date: 2008-06-28, 11:58PM EDT

College freshman bored with frat boys. I’m thin, with curves in the all right places. 36-24-36. I’m innocent but out to get experience.

I’m looking for a man in his 30s or 40s. I like balding, hirsute men with beer guts who remind me of my father, but I’ll take what I get. I’m not interested in starting a relationship. I’m just looking for men to share ‘coffee’ with – the hotter the better! I really want a man who’s willing to kiss me – but not on the lips. None of my frat boyfriends would do that.

Email me a photo (the less clothes the better) and a brief description (1 paragraph); if you’re lucky I’ll get back to you.

PostingID: 736438678

Some Replys:

1. Chris. "Call me, I am over 40 yrs, bald spot, hairy. got a belly but not a big fat guy. nice looking to...Call or text me lets hookup... [phone number concealed]"

2. Russ. "As wierd as it is for you to want to sleep with your father, I'm approaching it from the other side. you are almost my daughters age. I'd be interested in first meeting with you just to talk about why you are motivated in this way. I'm not saying I won't kiss you in the way you are hoping (I'm actually skilled in that area- you have no idea). I am older than you were looking for but younger looking. Full head of brown bushy hair, all my teeth, 5' 10" 190. I get along well with my daughters friends. now, for the picture - I've gotta make sure you don't know me , or more importantly, my daughter. That would be disastrous. Write back if this piques your curiosity and we can see where it goes. I'll send the pic then. Or you can send me one and that will tell me as well"

3. Mike. "Hello!! You sound sexxy!! I have an interesting proposal. I am 53 and have a 28 year old girlfirend who is totally hott( 5'4" 128 lbs). She is wanting to experiencea woman for the first time. I am 5" 11 210 and love to please orally. We could meet for coffee to see if interested. If not her and me, just me. Let me know. Have a great day!!"

4. Ray. "Hi, I tried to send a pic, but cl would not let me! I fit your want's to a tee! And can kiss your southern lip's till you cant take anymore,I can also teach you a lot, And if you are interested I can make it very rewarding with BIG $$$$"